The interview starts about in the middle. Wait for it to load.
Louie Savva speaks about his journey from belief in the paranormal to studying it and coming to the ultimate realization that it doesn't exist and that life and the universe and everything is completely pointless.
I strongly suspect he is correct. My experience is very similar, though I didn't study psi in a lab. I dedicated my life to the spiritual quest, and thanks to my curiosity delved into the knowledge base necessary to convince myself that there is at least no rational reason to suspect anything paranormal anymore. The evidence for the paranormal follows along the same exact lines as the evidence for everything else like it- big foot, loch ness, alien abductions etc... Intercessory prayer for instance doesn't seem to work. I was once a huge fan of Larry Dossey's work on this subject and it is interesting that Dossey's 2 favorite pieces of evidence for the validity of intercessory prayer have been debunked and discredited (the Byrd study on coronary care patients and the faked Korean study on fertility). And this was before the giant Duke study which basically once and for all stuffed the petard right through the heart of the matter.
I think what is telling about the prayer studies is how much of it seemed to offer promise and hope that it would work, only to lead to the conclusion that it doesn't. It makes you realize that all of psi research is this way- compelling pieces of data, mostly poorly done, which add up to nothing.
I went through the same period of radical confusion as Louie after I decided that life had no purpose. I didn't know what the hell to do with my life. My case is far worse than Louie's I think. He has many doors of opportunity with his face recognition and PhD, and just doesn't know where to go from here. I had no opportunities and no idea which uncompelling route to take. I spent several months at one point during my crisis hoping that I would die in my sleep.
But you never admit these things during them. You wipe it from your memory later. 30 years of belief in illusions has taught me more than anything else in this world that I am an animal with no recognizable freedom of will. I am a puppet. An animated carcass shitting and pissing and blabbering completely meaningless jibber jabber into the atmosphere- a faithful contributor to the water cycle, a consumer of animals, and a payer of student loans.
I am merely an observer. I think I've lost the ability to take a participatory life seriously enough for it to be genuine. I disbelieve in the authenticity of my own human experience.
I am a ruined human being. Reading that would make people instantly assume that I am depressed. Actually I am in quite good spirits. But since I consider the the term "human being" synonymous with "delusional primate puppet", I don't see being a "ruined human being" as being a bad thing necessarily. But I am mostly immune to the illusion, with all it's highs and lows. I find observation fascinating, and will die having lived a pointless and silly existence like every other living thing on the planet.
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