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This is a sounding board and open forum run by a secular humanist and a nihilist pretending to be a secular humanist. The primary focus is on the pursuit of meaning, the observation of the absurd, and most importantly of all- comedy.
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2009
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February
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February
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2 comments:
Aaron,
In a post to RfM, someone wrote:
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My Wife Gave Me An Ultimatum!!!
Now I'm going to update you on what has gone down in the last day or so.
This morning, my wife tells me that if I don't change my mind about the church, she is going to file for divorce and full custody of our son. She later says that's not what she wants, only to say tonight that divorce is what she wants and what will happen if I don't change my mind. We'll see what she says tomorrow.
We meet with the bishop around 11:00 or so this morning. Of course, my wife cries and I try to explain my problems and concerns (for her sake) to the bishop. He says that my testimony ought to be built on the feelings I've had, not the writings of men who twist their words to make the church look bad. He says that I should not seek sources outside of the church for answers to my questions and that the supposed truth about the church is not of God.
Later, while talking and crying to one of her sisters, she says that if something were to happen to her, and if I don't stay in the church, who is going to raise her son? I took this to mean that my capability of raising my son is contingent on my membership in the church, though she said she meant who will raise him in the church.
We go to her parents house to see some family members who are visiting. I ask not to be preached to. The family members who were visiting respected my request while one of her brothers started talking about his mission and reading things from his mission. The same brother who always keeps talking to me about this.
My wife has me talk with her father who, whether intending to or not, says some things that are quite offensive to me. He asks what I have against his family, why I don't want to be a part of his family, what I have to gain by leaving the church, how my life will be better by being a non-member, etc. He asked me not to answer them, but began lecturing me on the trials of his faith, but came to the conclusion that nothing he read was true so he stayed in the church. He also tells me that people who leave the church always do a complete 180 degree turn and work against the church and spend the rest of their days fighting against it. His conversation basically came down to the same point that they all have come down to: Prophets are men and men make mistakes. It doesn't seem to matter how many times I tell them that infallibility is not the only issue at hand. He ends by saying you can leave the church but you can't leave it alone, to which I wanted to reply, you can leave the church, but the church can't leave you alone. I think I may have read something like that in Saul's letter.
After arriving home, she wants to read the Book of Mormon, to which I agree. I am continuing to try to make her happy while not necessarily staying active in the church and trying to stand by my own convictions and presenting truth as the opportunity presents itself. She gets so angry with me that she says we can't study it anymore tonight because she doesn't have the spirit with her. She also says that I do not have the spirit with me so studying would be pointless. She then proceeds to tell me to go into the bedroom, in private, to study and pray to the Lord for answers. Though I'm certain that I made the right choice, I do go to the room and pray for understanding, comfort and for my wife.
I hate seeing how this is beginning to really take a toll on the relationships I have with other people. I also hate that no one can just accept that I just no longer believe. It's like they need specific reasons for my unbelief, like I need to justify my actions to them.
My wife keeps saying I've made up my mind already and only tell her she's wrong when she presents an argument. She doesn't understand that she's doing the same thing to me by continuously having me meet or talk with other people or by her constantly telling me what a big mistake I'm making. She is, in fact, telling me that I'm wrong when I present my arguments.
I don't know where all of this will lead me, but right now things look bleak in way of my marriage and relationship with her family.
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What do you make of that?
If that doesn't teach him who the boss is ("Heavenly Father"), nothing will. The poster appears extraordinarily calm under the circumstances.
Yours.
Aaron,
The abovementioned wife has now filed for divorce, and I am still resisting purchasing another Mac.
What has the world come to?
Yours.
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